I’ve been quiet on this blog for awhile and that’s because for the last 2+ years we’ve been trying to have another baby. After seeing a fertility doctor I got pregnant via IVF in December 2017, but then had a miscarriage last spring, which is when we started to pursue adoption. Our dreams came true last month when we adopted a little boy who we named Leo Indiana Jude (more on the name later).
These pictures were taken by Erin Beckwith Photography of the first moments we officially had with our baby (though we were actually very lucky to watch him enter this world and to have him in a room with us at the hospital). This was at the 48 hour mark when his loving birth mom signed the adoption papers allowing us to adopt him. It was also when our daughters got to meet baby Indy!!
(The hug below is the moment Stephanie from our adoption agency walked in and said his birth mama had signed the papers. It was something we had hoped and prayed to hear for a long time! It actually happened much faster than I expected, which is why I ended up only having time to curl one piece of my hair… but who really has time to curl their hair with a newborn!?)
It was surreal, but felt a lot more peaceful than I imagined. It didn’t feel like we were doing something life changing, even though we were. I was more emotional seeing the kids than signing the paperwork. It’s hard to grasp something so big when you are in the moment. It kind of felt like an out of body experience.
Our girls are absolutely smitten (Portia – 14, Adelaide – 9, Scarlett – 7).
He has a lot of names, but that’s because he has a lot of people who love him!! I really wanted to name him Leo, but Mike really wanted Indy. I also loved Indy, but didn’t want it for the full name… then I suggested Leo Indiana with the nickname Indy. My parents are from Indiana, my dad went to IU. I spent every summer of my childhood playing at the beach in northern Indiana with my cousins and siblings. I remember catching fireflies at my grandparents house. I remember the smells of the bonfires on the beach and the lights of Chicago twinkling in the distance. I remember running up the sand dunes, and then rolling down the other side. I remember my grandma baking cookies. I remember wandering with my sister through the forest to my other grandparents house. I remember piggy back rides and sandy toes. I remember bike riding down the hills. I remember the wind in my hair on my grandpas boat. My memories of Indiana are magical and adventurous and everything I want for little Indy’s childhood. His third name Jude was given to him by his birth mom. I think the strong handsome-ness of it balances out the playful feel of Indiana and the worldy feel of Leo. I love all of his names!
I have been exclusively breastfeeding Indy. It’s a long process to induce lactation (lots of pumping before he was born + pills), but it worked and we are at 6 weeks of breastfeeding!! I think we’ll probably only go till about 3 months, as my supply is pretty low and it takes him forever to eat, but I’ve loved this time with him to bond and feel super proud of myself for breastfeeding him! Finally it was time to leave with Indy, but not before we said goodbye and thank you to his birth mama. She didn’t want to be in the photos, but I’m so thankful for that time we shared with her. You can see the look on my face as we walked away with the baby. I felt a mix of relief, guilt, love and sadness. Adoption is sad. There’s no way around that. I cried for the baby who was being taken away from his birth mom, his real mom. I’ll never ever forget the gift she gave us and will hold a place in my heart for her forever.
Photography by http://www.erinbeckwith.com/